"There are roughly two kinds of people who like scrambled eggs...
...the first kind, who actually like scrambled eggs...
... the second, who pretend they wanted the eggs scrambled all along."
*
Don't look at me. I didn't mess with no eggs today.
I made dal. And it tasted surprisingly like dal.
(pats back)
*
SUK and I have decided to get married. Not to each other (sadly).
So we figure in order to get married a few years down the line (which is as of yet a vague, mysterious, nebulous number we haven't really put much thought into) we should start the groundwork with immediate effect.
As per our hypothesis, in order to find a suitable marriage partner we would need to budget time for meeting people, rejecting people, getting rejected by people, getting rejected by prospective parents in law (hey it happens)... getting to know people, several rounds of discussion on likes and dislikes, interests and dis-interests, lifestyle choices... months of hemming and hawing and procrastination... months of parental nagging...
Also said marriage partner should be rich. Really really rich.
Keeping in mind the statistics (another set of vague, mysterious, nebulous numbers we chose to just come up with) and our extreme lack of urgency to resolve the matter, this process of selection, elimination, exploration can at best be covered in - 7 years.
*
7 more years of spinsterhood (ugly word alert!). My mom's not going to like this.
If at the close of these 7 years, SUK and I should find ourselves unmarried and also find that our un-married-ness is mutual we have decided to absolutely NOT marry each other. In fact, if the thought so much as crosses our minds we have promised to shoot each other in the foot.
*
I love my married friends. They have homes, real grown up homes. With clean curtains and clean towels and clean hand towels and clean sheets... and stocked fridges... and geysers.
They are also sufficiently bored of each other to lavish most of their attention on me. Its like being married to them. Muahahaha...
They also glow.
*
Dedicated to L and M and the happy domesticity we all secretly aspire for.
Thanks for letting me enjoy a piece of it. I think you should adopt me. I'll make a great (pick from one of several equally attractive options):
1. live-in maid - I can make scrambled eggs AND dal
2. babysitter - For when the babies come. It doesn't hurt to be prepared.
3. first child - I'm super responsible, I do my homework on time and get straight As
4. sponge - Person who generates no resources or useful services whatsoever for the household
5. poet/ writer/ artist seeking inspiration - see definition of 'sponge'
6. invalid - before your parents get there. It doesn't hurt to be prepared. We could all use a dry-run right?
*
The last one was in slightly poor taste.
*
Dedicated to L and M for loving me for my bad taste and only occasional good taste.
And for the eggs. I really did want them scrambled :)
...the first kind, who actually like scrambled eggs...
... the second, who pretend they wanted the eggs scrambled all along."
*
Don't look at me. I didn't mess with no eggs today.
I made dal. And it tasted surprisingly like dal.
(pats back)
*
SUK and I have decided to get married. Not to each other (sadly).
So we figure in order to get married a few years down the line (which is as of yet a vague, mysterious, nebulous number we haven't really put much thought into) we should start the groundwork with immediate effect.
As per our hypothesis, in order to find a suitable marriage partner we would need to budget time for meeting people, rejecting people, getting rejected by people, getting rejected by prospective parents in law (hey it happens)... getting to know people, several rounds of discussion on likes and dislikes, interests and dis-interests, lifestyle choices... months of hemming and hawing and procrastination... months of parental nagging...
Also said marriage partner should be rich. Really really rich.
Keeping in mind the statistics (another set of vague, mysterious, nebulous numbers we chose to just come up with) and our extreme lack of urgency to resolve the matter, this process of selection, elimination, exploration can at best be covered in - 7 years.
*
7 more years of spinsterhood (ugly word alert!). My mom's not going to like this.
If at the close of these 7 years, SUK and I should find ourselves unmarried and also find that our un-married-ness is mutual we have decided to absolutely NOT marry each other. In fact, if the thought so much as crosses our minds we have promised to shoot each other in the foot.
*
I love my married friends. They have homes, real grown up homes. With clean curtains and clean towels and clean hand towels and clean sheets... and stocked fridges... and geysers.
They are also sufficiently bored of each other to lavish most of their attention on me. Its like being married to them. Muahahaha...
They also glow.
*
Dedicated to L and M and the happy domesticity we all secretly aspire for.
Thanks for letting me enjoy a piece of it. I think you should adopt me. I'll make a great (pick from one of several equally attractive options):
1. live-in maid - I can make scrambled eggs AND dal
2. babysitter - For when the babies come. It doesn't hurt to be prepared.
3. first child - I'm super responsible, I do my homework on time and get straight As
4. sponge - Person who generates no resources or useful services whatsoever for the household
5. poet/ writer/ artist seeking inspiration - see definition of 'sponge'
6. invalid - before your parents get there. It doesn't hurt to be prepared. We could all use a dry-run right?
*
The last one was in slightly poor taste.
*
Dedicated to L and M for loving me for my bad taste and only occasional good taste.
And for the eggs. I really did want them scrambled :)
10 comments:
Hey, I do not like scrambled eggs.
Actually, it doesn't matter, i'm commenting just so you know that i'm an avid fan and you should write, just for me:)
Umma. Glad to see you writing again. Have you thought about the plot for your book? Get on it asap. Big Sister is watching!
Hey, I ran across your blog quite by chance. And I found it rather amusing. I could be persuaded to swing by again (nothing creepy intended, of course). Keep on writing.
Hi..I landed on your blog from Kavita's and really liked what I read.. I didn't think I knew you but a little diggig revealed that we are not total strangers after all if you count the brief interactions during our training in a bank-doing-not-so-well-opposite-atria. Your posts are amazing may god/universe bestow you with the patience/time to write a complete book and in the interim regular posts :)
Marry me.
@ppp - glad to be writing again, though I do tend to get lazy between posts... the egging on by 'avid fans' helps :D
@mona - glad you stumbled on to blimblop, do keep visiting. we're quite open to criticism (constructive or of the other kind) and accept the same with a minimal amount of bitterness. we also graciously accept praise :D hope it makes for good reading!
@kiran - fellow sufferer!! the world is small. to be honest i don't remember meeting you... but that's because i spent most of my 2 years there hiding under tables, hiding behind my desk-top and hiding in the loo and thinking of ways to avoid people in general :) i must thank kavity for the free ka publicity :D. glad you like what i write. not too optimistic on the book front but your blessings help. i know one more person will by it (other than my parents and the 3 other people who commented on this post)
@perakath - hahaha... give me 7 years. i'll let you know then. also it will help if you get really rich by 2019.
keren broo
good blog
very good
cool blog
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