I hate RS... I hate him so much I want to gouge his eyes out with my bare hands. Or better still, lock him up in a room with a recording of his own irritatingly high pitched voice delivering a sequence of annoyingly long lectures... Subject him to such like unspeakable horrors...

Torture in falsetto...

I hate him because he thinks I'm a moron. And lazy. A lazy moron. But more so because his assessment of my capability and dedication is based on fairly arbitrary and wholely questionable criteria.

1. The fact that I wasted an hour and a half listening to AJP and SY crib about SS and such like Snobby Stephanians. SY's enlightened take on Ronald Coase, accusations against me for alleged advances made to UN (having booked him as my salsa partner in Mumbai)... AJP's diatribe against dschool and having wasted two years loving and loathing it.

I made a mutton dosa last for the entire length of that conversation... does he have any idea the kind of restraint that takes?

2. So what if I spent 45 minutes chatting with AS over a free cup of coffee? The amount I learned over the course of that discussion is perhaps immeasurable- about masochism, slavery, an alternative approach to topology, the inner contours of the National Housing Bored (yes I've misspelt that on purpose). I concede that none of this admissable in either my term paper nor the final exam... but really, should i be penalised for trying to have a life?

3. Placement Cell: My association with the said entity has forever sullied my reputation in teacher circles in these parts. I shudder to think how any future decisions on further studies will be entertained.

I hate RS because he a living breathing reminder of my propensity to procrastinate. Of the damaging effects of my new found love for gup-shup... I hate him because its hard to avoid feeling like a fool when someone else is so convinced that you are one and is not in the least hesitant in saying it.

I don't know whether I hate him more for being in the right or for being in the wrong... All i know is that I hate him.

If you scrape the bottom of my heart you'd be likely to come across a thick crust of dislike... bleh

*

God, on the other hand I'm loving right now.

I don't think I was quite as much of a believer before I came to dschool. In fact it began a full month before the entrance exam... I remember going about it so singlemindedly, aided only by my feeble cranium and feebler self esteem. While the rest of the world rapped on Naresh's doors, I obstinately did my own thing, hoping and praying that one of two things would happen:-

1. I would clear the exam and get through

or

2. I would sprout wings like that beautiful fellow from X-Men #3 (The Last Stand) and fly far, far away

Fortunately or unfortunately God picked 1. for me. That, despite three years worth of nothing but procrastination with brief intervals of odd conversation. If only I could make RS see that God is well and truly on my side. After all isn't the cancellation of today's lecture purely attributable to my fitful praying?

*

Now all I need is for the hours to multiply into two before the deadline for the #904 term paper runs out. No amount of not sleeping can rescue me from this one.. sigh sigh sigh

back to work I say... back to work