Itchy and Scratchy

The Khujli Wala Chuha

The Khujli Wala Chuha is a creature christened by the stupendously creative KB, the Maharani of Lucknow. The rodent is a manifestation of all the pent up frustration and anger inside the members of her court and kingdom (Court Jester NL, Head Concubine SY, Man at Arms APJ and her dog Xena to name a few). Of the urge to want to assuage all the burning questions inside their heads, to rid themselves of tedium and tension. An advanced state of unease in which all you can do… is scratch. Scratch your head, scratch your belly, scratch your behind. Scratch the insides of your brain in search of answers…scratch just to dull the itch.

The Khujli Wala Chuha (henceforth, KWC) Syndrome seems to have the nation in its grip. It has spread its tentacles all the way to Bengaluru, where a hapless DP Devi is struggling to come to grips with the fallout of a sequence of seemingly ‘rash’ (pun intended) decisions. When the malaise first surfaced, it compelled her to dump her boyfriend, quit her job, relocate to a new apartment. And now that all the dumping, quitting and relocating has finally been done, the rat has re-surfaced and opened up a veritable ‘Doubt Ki Dukaan’. Brave decisions are hard to go through with and harder still to live with.

It seems to have well near crippled the Duke of Puke, NS (alternatively, the Earl of Pearls) as he presides over his increasingly uncertain territory. ‘The powers that be’ have not been kind. First, they isolated him in the most desolate and inhospitable of places. Then they issued proclamations that proved well near impossible for the Tribal allies to swallow. All hell threatens to break lose and needless to say NS is scratching around furiously for solutions. Attempts to achieve a mental calm include pandering to the vulnerable bellies of friends, family and dog and recourse to hours worth of mindless reality TV. The things life makes you do.

And what of Shehzadi Samra PKH? Valiantly battling the temptations promised by the corporate world and struggling to suppress the desire to breakfast at the American Diner on a daily basis. In an attempt to eke out a literary masterpiece, one that doesn’t prove too costly for the kingdom’s treasury.

And of the 4 (of the famous 5), who are readying themselves for the onslaught of Evil Exams. How they fester and writhe as D-Day approacheth!

Yes, all is not well in the hearts and minds of the Queen’s allies. She can only hope that a deadly combination of ‘cheer up tom-foolery’ and ‘frequent change of subject’ therapy are some source of solace. Or at least that her amateurish attempts at psychiatry don’t cause irreparable damage.

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As an aside, I wish to say that KB is a marvellous person. I’ve never ever known her to be upset or at least visibly so. In fact her cheerfulness grows exponentially in times of adversity. She has proved a worthy ally indeed.