Hind in Sight

cute bottom is looking at me from the corner of his eye. he is gifted with the most extraordinarily powerful peripheral vision. that and the most extraordinarily attractive butt. about his other endowments, i dare not venture any descriptions, seeing as all i can see is his back side. which is not a total loss.. his bum is yum.. so i'll just give the rest of him the benefit of the doubt and continue to steadily fall for him. or just his posterior.. same difference.

so i strain against every compulsively shy muscle of my body to make my presence felt. a way must be found to make this man fall hopelessly in love with me.. or at least be mildly interested in the tiny little sliver of me visible from that inconvenient angle.

increase the volume of conversation.. but only if you have something beautiful and insightful to say. i prattle away nonetheless, simultaneously scanning my brain for something even remotely interesting. politics? haven't so much as looked at the paper in ages.. entertainment? no, watching repetitive reports of Chandrayaan in orbit do not count.. religion? God no..

evil doubts creep in.. i am hopelessly boring.. beyond any hope of remedy. and he sees through my flimsy disguise. that is if he's looking at all? something deep inside softly says- boo hoo..

no no no fool.. you must focus. carpe diem.. i mean just look at your audience. they seem mildly interested don't they now. must be all the books you aren't reading, all the movies and plays you aren't watching, all that brilliant music you aren't listening to, all the exercise you aren't getting..

sheesh.. big help you are! i see i'm going to have to go this alone.

and i manage somehow, elicit a round of giggles with some inane joke or the other.. manage to make some heads nod in agreement at exceedingly astute observation.. to shoot down an argument with a flamboyantly worded counter. and suddenly i am an intriguing person. lovely in every respect. the careful gaze of CB's bum have transformed me.

oh CB.. ever since you came into my life (3 minutes and counting) and looked at me in that special way (?) i am a changed woman.. altered irrevocably, improved immeasurably.. don't ever leave me and go.. first i'll have to recover from your loss.. and then i'll have to tolerate my own company. not the Me that you make me.. the you-less Me.. sob..

cute bottom proceeds forward.. i follow..

no i am not stalking him, we are both in line for the same thing. i only fantasize endlessly about men with whom i am mildly acquainted. but follow them around? na.. that's what the real nutcases do.. just to reassure myself of my sanity i casually shift my tractor beam like focus to other more commonplace things.. the walls, my hands, other butts (a regrettable accident), the floor, my arms.. moving briskly back to the hind in question..

alas, the bum and its owner have disappeared. fool! you should have never looked away.. so you're a loony.. swallow your pride and accept it. this tragedy would never have occurred unless common sense intervened. the same thing inside once again reiterates its stand.. boo-hoo..

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post-script: CB left, only to stage a comeback, this time with his face in full view.. which much to my ill-conceived joy was not half bad either. i considered smiling to myself.. i ended up smiling to the whole world instead..

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post-post-script: common sense staged quite the dramatic comeback too. which is funny because it hadn't really gone anywhere.. fortunately he was joined by a great deal of dreamy eyed optimism..