Dear Ovaries,
For as long as I have known you, you have caused me nothing but agony. In fact, had it not been for the aforementioned trouble I'd have scarcely known you existed within me. Is that the only way you could think of to let me know you're around? A simple "hello" would have sufficed.
So anyway, o1 and o2, I don't quite know how to explain this to you without feeling bashful but... see the thing is... women menstruate roughly once a month. Not twice a month, once in two months, always and/or never. The deviations from this simple schedule that you so gleefully indulge in may serve to make life interesting once in a while. But by and large it makes sense to stick to the 28 day cycle. And though the process is bound to be icky and unpleasant there is no law that compells periods to cause excruciating pain.
At first I was angry, livid even. I mean aren't ovaries just supposed to know these things? Were mine just plain ignorant? Of all the reproductive systems in all the bodies of all the women in the world, they had to end up in mine... Sigh.
Extended reflection made me realise that I may have been unreasonably harsh in my initial assessment of the matter. I figured... we're all human right? After all, it did take me some time to wrap my head around calculus. And periods can be complicated.
I know you're job isn't made any simpler by the cysts (eeeeewww). Its a hereditary condition. Just one of the things I inherited from my mother along with beauty, crippling indecisiveness and the propensity to cry at the end of movies (even happy ones). But guys, work with me. Try. Its not as hard as it looks.
Oh and there's more. The disorder is usually set right after the first pregnancy so you needn't misbehave forever. I secretly think its a cleverly crafted conspiracy to sabotage the whole women's lib idea: impregnate all of them on the promise of curing PCOS, immobilise them and laugh maliciously as they waddle around like cranky penguins. But, love it or hate it, that's the only sure fire cure.
So ladies, we're just going to have to lump it till then (the "then" in question being far far away). It might help to keep a calendar so you know just when to kick in and just when to lie low. Oh and watch this amazing thing I found online. I wish they'd shown us this back in school rather
than sending in that scary nun with her horror-movie like documentary on abortion, chock full of graphic imagery that left us all scarred for life. Things would have made sense. Or at least more sense than they did anyway.
Anyhoo I guess its about time I wrap up this little note. Take your time (just not too much ok). Please know that I love and treasure you and shall do everything in my power to grin and bear it.
Respect,
BB
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Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome (PCOS) is caused due to the formation of several follicles or cysts (far in excess of the usual number) within the ovaries which may result in irregularities in a woman's menstrual cycle and imbalance of hormones released by the ovaries. The condition could manifest itself in the following ways: Irregular periods, weight gain, acne, hirsuitism (if you don't what that means; look it up) and in extreme cases - infertility.
What I hate most is how a condition borne from a decidedly female part of a woman's body can strike at the very root of her femininity. Make her less of a girl. Sophisticated people call that "irony".
PCOS is not a disease and is in fact surprisingly common. Treatment is symptomatic and varies with the severity of the disorder. I'm lucky, all I need to do is take a few pills to set things right. Except that I had to spend a small fortune on medical consultation, blood tests and sonograms. The unpleasantness was mitigated to a large extent by the fact that my radiologist turned out to be quite cute. But there's is only so much you can fancy a man who asks you to drink a whole litre of water, then instructs you to lie down on your back and proceeds to rub some gooey thing on your belly.
The "Public Service Announcement" tone of this post was not quite intended. But if anyone does come across this while reading up on PCOS please note: If you have those awful little things inside you then you are NOT A CIRCUS FREAK and that you are still ALL GIRL. So there..
Issued in public interest
3 comments:
One of my classmates solved her highly irregular periods by going on the pill. But then she's a doctor and could self-medicate. You might want to consider the option, though?
why do I feel like you're becoming a feminist? whatever happened to, there's always a choice? I guess you still maintain that in which case you don't really have the right to complain! :)
'becoming a feminist'??!!
How unbecoming swapoo!!!whatever next? Let us evolve to the point where ovaries are the next appendix. Ha! The only people who have kids are the ones too boring to keep themselves otherwise amused.
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