Quotable quotes, second in the series of

“practice as if you are the worst, perform as though you are the best…”

Anonymous, quoted in the Delhi Times.

I can’t say I quite blame Anonymous for being diffident, if I ever said something like that I wouldn’t want anyone to know either.

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Tonight’s dinner was another showdown between Stupendously Befuddled/Overworked Kitchen Staff and the Sisterhood of Disgruntled Eaters (previously known as Dissatisfied Second Helping Takers, an offshoot of the Compulsive Complaining League (regd.).

Apparently there were caterpillars in the baingan aloo.

I said I couldn’t care less, as long as they (the caterpillars) weren’t moving. Its entirely forgivable to be careless in sorting and cleaning vegetables if followed by thorough deep frying. It incinerates all nature of vermin, together with those pesky things called vitamins that try to weasel their way into a perfectly good meal to spoil the fun. Besides, much like most non-veg I’m sure caterpillars would contribute to the protein quotient of our decidedly saturated fat oriented diet (to be fair this most valid point was raised by neha g).

But it was pooch’s response that killed me,

“if you eat a caterpillar, you’ll become a social butterfly”

I laughed, nay, roared…(you had to be there)

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“let’s become the change we wish to see in the world- join NSUI”

- DU election poster. I’d kill to see what the losing candidate’s flyers said.

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I am the ghost that haunts the hostel in the wee hours of the morning. Bored to bits, I decided to survey the various loos for a routine hygiene appraisal. In the event of an emergency, it always helps to know which toilets are the best to duck into.

It made for a fun literary experience as well. The hand written poster in the second floor loo says

“please flush the “H2O” properly after you are done”

I think the writer was a tad confused (composing an admonishing flyer like that does tend to work one up into a frenzy). Because the last time I checked there wasn’t anything particularly objectionable about H2O. I figure it would be rather redundant to flush H2O down with water. On much contemplation I cracked the code, those insidious “” marks may have something to do with it. Note to self: beware of anything that comes cloaked in quotation marks.

Other loos featured fairly run of the mill stuff like, “please grow up” or “try to behave like civilised people” to the downright cocky, “there is such a thing as a flush you know!”. But this next one is a real gem,

“(preceded by dollops of emotional blackmail)… also note that the hand that cleans the toilet also cooks someone’s food. Please be considerate!!”

lunch anyone?

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“…an apple a day gives you constipation, which though inconvenient and at times painful, does not necessitate the presence of a physician. That said the whole ‘keeps the doctor away’ question is a moot point.”

see, that’s why god invented elder sisters.

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Quote of the day, courtesy Messrs. N Lal and Sons,

“all econometrics is bullshit…”

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There is something particularly romantic about my room. These lizards just can’t seem to get enough of each other. Himesh (fat ugly wall lizard) eyed the poor unsuspecting Ensign Uhura (shapely pretty wall lizard) and said something that sounded frighteningly like,

“common baby light my fieyaaah!”

ok that may not have actually happened. Its 4 in the morning and my brain is doing funny things.

Mona, forever the prude says, “tch tch…”

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I too made some rather regrettable verbal trespasses today,

“we always take for granted the ones we love the most.”

And (I’m still surprised I actually uttered this)

“its not the time you put in, its what you put into the time”

I’m considering a career in corny couplet and one liner writing for greeting cards companies. I could totally corner the market. In the event of my ambitions being dashed against the cold hard rocks of reality, I could always turn to contributing anonymous quotes for the Sunday issue of Delhi Times.