uterus for sale

if this diatribe goes against accepted norms of propriety, then scrunch propriety up into a ball and toss it out the window. life is too short to grin and bear it...

i want to sell off my uterus to the highest bidder. there is simply nothing noble in this discomfort. it's messy, inconvenient and painful, at times excruciatingly so.

i wonder how those hyperactive women in the advertisements do it. why the hell are they so happy anyway? i mean it is heartening to learn that one is fertile and that one's plumbing is in order. but the monthly reminders: i can so live without them.

lest this be mistaken as the outpourings from the heart of a closet feminist, i think i'll issue a disclaimer. i'm just really whiny. you would be too if everything south of your abdomen felt like it was in a vice... if anything that is even remotely tasty is off limits because your stomach just refuses to digest it without creating the most awful fuss... and if to boot, you feel bloated enough to shoot off into the stratosphere much like a hot air balloon.

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it gets worse

sometime last night my blanket and comatose self had a falling out and decided that separation was the only way to amicably settle the situation. of course none of this involved my consent. i wish they'd considered the wider ramifications of this solution. i woke up in the morning feeling miserable- heavy head, runny nose, scratchy throat... the works.

the universe is determined to test my limits... and i'm determined to go down fighting (determined about the fighting. the going down bit, not so much). all as long as i can do a little whining on the side...

whine whine whine

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the last few days have been as close to hell as is imaginable for most delhi folk. what with the suspension of the water supply. and even though living in a girls' hostel entitles me to certain priveleges (i.e. the services of subsidized delhi jal board tankers) that eliminate the chance of me feeling the slightest bit of discomfort i just couldn't help but be really depressed.

i don't know why i found it so disconcerting. maybe it was the woman on the news who said that she'd been feeding her chidren bread for breakfast for the past three days, because she couldn't spare enough water to cook. or maybe it just brought back horrible memories from the flat (only the water related memories are nasty, the rest are quite blissful) of severe drought like situations during exams. or maybe it was because we were eating food in disposable thermocol plates to save water that would be used to rinse them while girls were getting their rooms swabbed with criminal amounts of water, people were taking showers, washing clothes etc.

it just made me so mad. and everytime i told the maids to stop sweeping they just looked at me as if i'd gone loco. i wonder if that's how the clinically insane feel. i'm sure whatever they're saying makes complete sense to them. it's so frustrating to know that you are completely lucid when the rest of the world thinks you've lost your marbles.

i usually resist criticising girls for being "girls" i.e. generally finicky about cleanliness and the like. i loathe crass generalisations. but that just got me thinking of whether this was a valid stereotype (not that any stereotypes are really "valid", but i digress).

even if women are the cleaner sex i can't help but think why. a friend of mine, a devout hindu and a feminist of the most vehement breed (quite unlike one compulsive fence sitter i know, i.e. me), once explained to me why women were not permitted entry into places of worship during their menstrual cycle: due to hygiene concerns, which may at some point of time long long ago been forgivable.

but what if it didn't end there... maybe we still believe that we are dirty and constantly feel the need to remedy the situation.

on a lighter note, if that is indeed true then i am the most genuinely emancipated woman i know. in my defence, i always look clean (unkempt, but clean) and rarely if ever smell objectionable...

at least not enough to have elicited complaints...

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or maybe i'm just acting out against socially imposed norms...

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or maybe i'm just really lazy and indifferent

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or just really lazy