Adventure in the RTL (2): Pooch's day out

My recent tryst with blogosphere has proven to be a tremendous ego boost. I’m hesitant to speculate how many fresh admirers I’ve acquired, but it seems to have given my existing fan following, albeit small, a reason to confirm their affection for me.

However, some unfortunate incidents have transpired on the sidelines. I’d like to relate the experience of one such blimblopper (that sounds cool doesn’t it? took me just 3 minutes to come up with that one), which merits documentation.As with all funny stories, the challenge here is to communicate the hilarity adequately. And given my reputation for killing the most ‘tell’able of jokes, the prospects appear to be quite dim. In the event of such a homicide I shall resort to the common response of all unintentionally unfunny people, i.e. “you had to be there”

So somehow, Pooch (the protagonist of this tale), who had heard so much about my blog (from me of course) decided (at my insistence) that it must be checked out post haste. Being a technologically challenged “socio-person” (they’re going to come after me with pitchforks for this one) and unable to find the necessary search engine to zero in on my blog (this despite my verbally specifying the words “blimblop.blogspot”), Pooch came under the mistaken impression that the only way to access a blog was to have one for yourself. So glowing was the praise for my blog (me again) that the added inconvenience of creating a blog paled in comparison to the grief of being deprived of the pearls of wisdom enshrined in mine. However, young pooch did not bargain for the verbal ingenuity exercised by residents of blogland in the arena of blog nomenclature…

Among the many variants tried and failed

Musings
Thoughts
Wanderer
Lonely wanderer
Aimless wanderer
Paradox
Paradoxes

Followed by the slightly more ambitious…
Little by little
Bit by bit
Little bits

and further on to..
Lost for words
blah
blahblahblah
blah.blah

And here’s where it gets really absurd… all of the following are already taken

Marmalade
Orange marmalade
My orange marmalade
Green grass
Blue bananas

These are but the choicest few in the long list that was narrated to me. Pooch finally had to settle for something less than satisfactory (name withheld on request of said protagonist, who feels it is an insufficient indicator of his/her creativity). It was only at the template and format fixing phase that our hero finally discovered something was amiss and that blimblop was no closer than when the journey had been embarked upon. Later, through a careful process of elimination and deduction the desired destination was arrived at.

My dear friend claims (on plenty of poking, prompting and prodding by me) the harrowing journey was completely worth it and absolves blogger.com of any blame in the matter citing encouraging suggestions forwarded by blogger during the process of blog christening (myorang-eymarmalade.blogspot being a notable example). I’m just glad pooch survived the experience without major blood loss.

So we sat down to rack our brains over what would be a suitable name. Being a “socio-nerd” with a passion for gender issues and an ardent cake fan I initially thought gendercake.blogspot would be a good idea for pooch. However, upon realising that such a name would be an invitation for pervy people all over the world, I issued a hasty (and amused) retraction. Tragic protagonist failed to see the humour. What can I say Pooch? You had to be there, in my head…

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Dear Pooch,I have shamelessly exaggerated your escapades. But what can one do? I have become a slave to the masses. A prostitute if you will. I hope you still love your fallen friend and continue to provide more food for thought.

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Dear Anonymous,

I set out to make this post as frivolous as was possible. Its lovely to be insightful and all but sometimes a good laugh is essential. Me thinks the end of the month is one such time. I hope you had a laugh or at least the 'odd' mental giggle.

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Dear Ma,

I simply can't imagine starving myself for myself, let alone for another person. But I inadvertently ended up starving myself for you today. Lal says every one has a choice... but I'm not so sure. I mean how can one ever exercise a choice they didn't know they had in the first place?If you have the strength to establish contact, you'll find me somewhere poised 'twixt cynism, feminism and blasphemy.

****

Dear books,I was all set for our much anticipated rendezvous today, but I deferred it in favour of some (more) revelry. The blame lies with that evil calendar, I discovered that October has 31 days and not 30. And if that isn't a reason to celebrate... I don't quite know what is.